Contemplating the Second Ambition
by doryfishie
Summary: Ichiraku Ramen was out to get him; he was positive. Why else would it put such absurd notions into his head and make him run around like a fool? Sasuke contemplates his second ambition and how to achieve it. SasuXmult
1. The mission is assigned

**Hey everyone! I'm doryfishie and I guess you're reading my fanfic...um, yeah. I hope it's not too bad, and I can't honestly give a good reason for writing it except I was bored. I don't claim to be a good writer, so constructive criticism is always accepted. I apologize in advance for any rambling I do. XD**

**disclaimer: I would hate to own Naruto, personally. I might want a few ((cough)) characters as slaves though...**

Chapter 1: the mission is assigned

It all started at Ichiraku Ramen. It was the place he did most of his contemplating, as Naruto constantly dragged him over to the stand, and there was nothing better to do other than listen to the dobe's constant babbling.

He was deliberating, simply put, his second 'ambition'. Sasuke knew what it took to have kids, and wasn't adverse to it, except for the small part that the female played.

Females.

God they were annoying.

He had yet to meet a female that he could tolerate for the long periods of time known as pregnancy. Sasuke knew any woman's hormones would be hay-wire during _that_ particular time, and was sure he could prepare himself for that, but Sasuke was not stupid. He was not going to start with an overly hormonal female and add even more estrogen. Normalcy would be necessary.

That cut quite a bit of the limited female he knew off his mental list. Sakura was out, Uchiha's did _not_ have pink hair. Hinata was also off; their child could produce some weird sharingan-byakugan hybrid, and the point of this exercise was for the sharingan to be passed on. Ino would be put on the bottom of the hypothetical list due to her hormones, lower ninja capability, and the fact she was a fan-girl.

Naruto cut off his train of thought when he stood up; declaring he was done. He then looked pointedly at Sasuke.

'_Dobe'_ he thought as he reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet. Sasuke had learned that it took less energy to simply pay, then to start an argument.

After his change was returned, he set off. As this was lunch on a day that Naruto had announced as a 'free day', Sasuke didn't have to train. He wandered aimlessly throughout the streets of Konoha; his thoughts returning to his one ambition that had yet to be completed.

The thoughts though, refused to come, and Sasuke silently berated both himself for lack of knowledge on kunoichi, and the village for lack of supply. As he reached his apartment and let himself in, he racked his brain for all the women he knew, going through a checklist of sorts.

His results were not good to say the least, but better than expected:

Rookie Nine:

already covered, only possible one was Ino. There was Hinata's sensei...but she was already involved with Asuma.

Chuunin Exams:

There was that Hyuuga...no that was a guy. But his friend, the one with the buns could do. Seemed reasonable, with ninja skills as she trained with Hyuuga, and her appearance wouldn't diminish the Uchiha look too much. However, Sasuke was sure that Hyuuga wouldn't release his teammate to him willingly. Better put her in the middle.

There was also that wind girl. She beat Hyuuga's teammate, so there were definite ninja skills, but Uchiha was primarily fire element. Shrugging, he moved to her appearance, deciding that it would not be a complication. She did have a dominant air around her, but that could be a pleasant trade. She would be closer to the top.

The second proctor was female. She had been taught by Orochimaru, but was rather...odd. And older. She went to the bottom as he imagined a the hyperactive woman prancing around with the Sharingan and shivered. Her being taught by Orochimaru kept her on the list, but only just.

That was basically his extent of Konoha (and Suna) kunoichi. It was not a good prospect. No one seemed to meet his criteria perfectly. Boiled down to a bare minimum they were not hard requirements to set, _he_ certainly met all three,and there were some ninja that did possess those qualities...right? Hyuuga wasn't annoying...except with that odd obsession with his hair and the byakugan.

Gaara wasn't particularly annoying. Well, the demonic sand could be considered creepy, and talking to your mom who is apparently in your head would be considered abnormal, those habits had stopped. Hopefully.

Sasuke sighed. He needed a jutsu that would turn males into females but without the estrogen, as that was what caused women to be so annoying. Well, it was the most likely cause.

So now he was back to two ambitions. God how he wished Orochimaru wasn't dead. The snake had a crap load of jutsu, one of them was bound to be a gender switching one. As Sasuke lay on his couch, he stared up at the ceiling while racking his brains for anything useful the Sannin could have taught him.

Finding none, not that he had tried that hard, as most useless jutsu usually came back while using the sharingan during a fight. Typical.

Letting out another long breath, the former avenger got up, sat down again at his desk, and pulled out a blank mission scroll. However, just as he was about to put his brush to the paper, he paused. He didn't need to write a simple reconnaissance mission down. It was personal, so the Hokage wouldn't care, and if anyone were to find the finished scroll...

And so, informal mission 'second ambition' was assigned to one Uchiha Sasuke, to be completed in his own time, but as quickly as possible.

No sweat right?

**Hehehe, short chapter right? Well, it's just a starter, I tend to write more as the story goes on.**

**Reviews would be appreciated, as I have a short attention span, and knowing people will get angry if I don't finish this would really help motivate me!**


	2. reconnaissance I: Hospital

Authoress's note: I'm back! I've decided to update about once a week. It seems reasonable to me, and I'm sorry for those who expect less time between updates. Thank you to those who reviewed/favorite-ed/alerted my fanfic!! All suggestions will be taken into consideration, but I won't promise anything.

wow, i feel stupid. i'm really sorry, but this is really the second chapter, i accidentally posted the third...i'll post that one too! so you get two chapters instead of one...gomen, but i am sick, and i tend to lose my mind when i'm sick XD

Disclaimer: wouldn't it be hard to own Naruto? I hate deadlines, and would probably rush. Fanfiction is more my style right now.

Chapter 2: reconnaissance (part I)

Sasuke sighed and prepared himself for a day of kunoichi hunting. He did have training, but Kakashi was to go on a solo mission in the afternoon, leaving his team to their own devices. Sakura would undoubtedly put in extra time in the hospital after asking him for one-on-one training again. He had contemplated briefly bringing Naruto along for the first part of mission 'second ambition' but decided against it. The dobe did not have the subtly necessary for such work.

Sighing again as he fished his key out of his pocket to lock the door, Sasuke took off towards the training grounds and starting what was sure to be a very long day.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

"Ano, Sasuke-kun..." Sakura ran up to him after their sensei had poofed away. Sasuke spared her a glance as he picked up his scattered kunai, "Gomen, but I have hospital duty today, so I can't offer to train with you today..." Sasuke was surprised, to say the least. She _always_ asked him to train, but he didn't complain. His pride should have been hurt, but it wasn't. He had never liked the pink haired girl the way she was interested in him, and was vaguely happy as a teammate to see her move on, if only a little.

She looked down, but did not move away. Guessing what this meant, Sasuke decided to humor her with a simple, "Why?" in a tone that expressed he didn't want to train with her, but was merely curious of her reason.

Sakura looked up, somewhat startled, but still managed a smile, "Tsunade-shishou has a special patient, but she is much to busy to attend to him. Usually Shizune-senpai is the one to tend to her patients, but shishou asked for me specifically!" the pride in her voice was poorly hidden as she beamed at him.

The new development in the hospital pecking order was not entirely unexpected. Sasuke was not oblivious to his teammate's ability. However, what caught him up was that fact that the hospital would be filled with kunoichi. Granted, most would not be fit for his purposes, Sasuke realized that accompanying Sakura would mean that he would meet more of the higher ups. Being a good healer required chakra control as well as brains.

His original plan had been to simply walk around the village, but this opportunity was better suited for his purpose.

"I'll come with you." Sakura's disbelief was evident. Sasuke _never_ walked her any where, even if they were going in the same direction. Naruto, who had also been listening, dropped his weapons and looked at Sasuke as if he had grown a second head.

"Sasuke-teme is offering to accompany Sakura-chan to the hospital?! Are you dying or something?! OH KAMI-SAMA! Don't die teme!! Sakura-chan can save you! Dattebayo!!" Naruto was about to start shaking him when Sakura cut him off with a whack upside the head

"Stupid! Sasuke-kun's not dying!" Sakura stated as Naruto rubbed his head "...are you?" Her voiced sounded less sure.

These two obviously needed a reason, and he had a purpose...just not one willing to he was willing to share. 'I need to see a healer,' would have been the obvious excuse, but he could tell his teammates wouldn't leave it at that. Sighing again, he turned and headed in the direction of the hospital.

"I have a pain in my ankle. I've been to a healer, and they didn't fix it. Sakura is bound to know a healer who is capable of finding what's wrong." Short, to the point, got them off his back, and Sasuke had an excuse to check out the medical nins.

Naruto, however, had other plans.

"The teme's foot hurts? Why not just ask Sakura-chan to do it? She's the best healer in the village besides Tsunade-baa-chan! Dattebayo!" Sakura had quickly caught up with him, accept the excuse, but Naruto wouldn't let it drop.

"Dobe. She's busy with Tsunade's patient. She doesn't need to bother with a simple pain," Sasuke addressed Naruto himself, seeing Sakura was about to agree with the dobe's plan. His statement made her realize her original intent at the hospital, and also that she was late. Sakura swore and sped up.

The hospital was not far from the training grounds, so team seven soon reached it. Naruto and Sasuke followed Sakura through the doors and down multiple hallways until they reached and office with 'Haruno Sakura' written on the front, which Sakura entered.

"I won't be but a minute, and I need to change, so you two stay out there and try not to get in the way." Sasuke noted the change that overcame his teammate: she was more confident in her leadership here. Unafraid to give orders, even to him. He still gave the customary 'hnn' of acceptance, and simply leaned on the wall.

Naruto, however, did not seem to realize that 'not getting in the way' included trying not to peep. He was trying to look through the distorted glass window customary to most office doors, which at that moment, was flung open again by Sakura who had donned a white doctor coat, grabbed a clipboard, and had put her hair up.

Even with the subtle change in attitude, Sakura still smacked Naruto for his peeping, but quickly stopped to look at Sasuke.

"Alright Sasuke-kun! You need to see a healer about your ankle. I have a list of all the healers in the building, and I can recommend a few, but you'll have to go find them yourself. Gomen, but I really do need to see to this patient," as she was talking, she used a highlighter to highlight a few things on the clipboard, and then handed him the paper, "just go to the reception desk and tell her Haruno Sakura told you to find these doctors. It shouldn't be too hard to find one that isn't busy, then just tell them that I referred them to you, okay?"

Sasuke nodded, looking down at the list. He recognized a few names, but couldn't place them with faces. That wasn't a big problem, as most of the names on the list were feminine, which was his main purpose. As Naruto whined about what he was suppose to do, Sasuke started off down the hall, thinking Sakura would just send him out.

Apparently he was wrong. Footsteps came running up to him.

"Oi! Sasuke-teme! Wait up! Sakura-chan said I have to go with you!" damn Sakura, sending Naruto after him. He was busy too! He didn't have time to babysit the dobe. He needed to find a suitable mate.

Sasuke waited for the loudmouth to catch up, then turned the full force of the Uchiha glare upon him. Naruto flinched slightly, but didn't back down.

"Don't you have somebody else to bother?" it wasn't a question more so a threat. The blond though, was famous for his obliviousness, and didn't catch the murderous intent rolling off Sasuke.

"Nah!" he replied with easy, "Kakashi-sensei is on a mission, Sai is god knows where and Sakura-chan is working dattebayo! You and me can finally spend some quality time together! Let's go to Ichiraku and then fight!"

Ichiraku. That word rang though Sasuke's skull. No way in hell was he going to go there. Not after yesterday. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his money. Shoving a fistful at eager ninja in front of him, he said in a mad rush of desperation,

"Go buy yourself some Ramen by yourself. Afterwards, go shopping or something. I can't be expected to babysit you two days in a row." Narrowing his eyes, as if daring Naruto to come after him, he walked towards the reception desk.

The receiver of Sasuke's money, however, stayed where he was. He hadn't exactly missed the look of horror that had passed over his sometimes friend's face at the mention of his favorite stand. Naruto knew Sasuke's face, it was always the same old blank expression, so any other emotions lit it up, making it visible even to his eyes. Wisely choosing not to pursue the issue longer, as his stomach was hungry, and he would never pass up an opportunity for free ramen, Naruto walked after Sasuke down the hallway and through the doors out into the bright summers day.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

Well...that went surprisingly well. The secretary was actually helpful, despite the too short skirt and the constant gum popping sound.

Sasuke had never planned on going around speaking to the doctors. Instead, the list saved him from doing a background check on every healer in the building. He had simply gone up to the receptionist and asked to use a computer. Instead of melting right there, the girl had enough sense to ask him why. His response had been vague, something about Sakura needing him to look up certain medic nins, and that was the end of it. She couldn't very well disobey a supposed order from a higher up, no matter how ridiculous it had sounded.

So here he was, looking at reasonably successful healers personal files. He had added a few to his list. None of the girls were particularly notable, but Sasuke wasn't in a position to be picky.

Hospital:

Saito Amaya: She was a Chuunin and a medical nin. She worked in the emergency room, which showed she had a reasonably level head. He was able to find a picture, the hair had been dyed, but he was pretty sure it was of normal origin. Her face was not particularly attractive, but nor was she ugly. A possibility, but not at the top.

Matsuo Natsuko was a diagnostician. She was obviously capable, and smart. Her picture showed no obvious flaws, and she was obviously attractive with her black hair and large blue eyes. She would be placed near the top.

The last person he decided on was Mizushima Kameko. Her picture suggested a bimbo, with her blond hair, but her jounin status proved otherwise. Currently, she was in field research; not a bad occupation as it was filled by medical nins that were more kunoichi than healer. She still seemed perky, so perhaps the middle would be a place for her.

There were certainly more, but these three seemed to fit his criteria. He could always come back if he needed to. Thanking the receptionist, Sasuke walked out, realizing that he had been in there for a good hour. Needing to stretch and release the large amount of tension that had accumulated in his body since yesterday's epiphany, Sasuke walked off towards the training grounds. As he stuffed his hands in his pocket, Sasuke realized the way he was headed would pass by Ichiraku, and undoubtedly Naruto. Not wanting to face either, he switched directions, taking the longer, safer route.

Day one of unofficial mission 'second ambition' went as well as to be expected.

Note: See, didn't I tell you the chapters would get longer? I'm going to work hard on my OC's and if anyone thinks that they're acting Mary-Sue-ish, TELL ME!! I don't want mary-sues and I don't think you people want them either. Hopefully, none of them will play huge parts, and I really don't want Sasuke to end up with one...basically, I'm putting them in there for humor.

Oh! If anyone wants to send me some really bad, Sasuke-ish pickup lines, that would be great. I've found some...but they're more Kakashi-ish XD. Thanks and please review!


	3. reconnaissance II: Saito Amaya

Authoress's note: again, i apologize! this chapter will make a lot more sense now...T.T i feel really bad about taking my messed up brain out on you people. let's see, the same thing goes, i had a friend read the supposed chapter 3 for me, but she said it was really confusing to suddenly switch to Suna, so i decided to put this in. it's short, but since it comes along with chapter 2 i think we're pretty good huh...

Disclaimer: nope, don't own, and probably never will...legally that is (pushes an unconcious itachi under bed)

Chapter 2: reconnaissance II (Saito Amaya)

"Oi! Teme! Whatcha doing hiding behind a bush like that?" Naruto did not know when to keep his mouth shut. This observation had been made many times in the past, and would undoubtedly be stated in the future, so Sasuke had no idea why he was thinking it now.

When he thought about it a little, it might have something to do with the fact that Sasuke was on a reconnaissance mission, or that he wanted silence so the girl he was observing (he refused to call it stalking) would not become aware of his presence and wonder what he was doing there.

Nope, Sasuke had no reason whatsoever to call Naruto a dobe who couldn't be quiet. None at all.

Still, he decided that Naruto needed to shut up, so he took the obvious course and slapped his hand over the blond's mouth.

"Shut up!" he hissed.

Naruto mumbled something into his hand, but Sasuke paid him no attention, turning to see if the female had noticed the exchange. She had not, to engrossed in her shopping to see anything else. Slowly, he removed his hand from the dobe's mouth.

"Teme! What was that for?! And why are you up in a tree? We have to train dattebayo!" Sasuke merely fixed a patented Uchiha glare on the loudmouth, wondering if he needed to give an answer.

"Dobe," he addressed Naruto, "I have a mission." Simple and easy. God, Sakura and Naruto were just too easy to fool.

Said dobe merely quirked his head, "Why would you have a mission? Especially one in Konoha? Is it D ranked or something? If it is, I'll have a word with Tsunade baa-chan dattebayo! You were put off probation months ago!" Sasuke rubbed his forehead in an irritated manner.

"I asked her for a mission. I needed to get away from _you_. Tsunade wouldn't give me anything other than this. Now go away before you ruin it."

"Are you saying you accepted a D ranked mission?! You're a Jounin Teme. You don't need to go on those idiotic missions dattebayo!" Naruto seemed to not have heard his last sentence, or any part of what he had said.

"Dobe, I'm going to make this very clear to you. Go. Away. Before. You. Ruin. My. Mission."

"Fine, fine teme. You go do your stupid D missions. _I_ would never do anything as stupid as one of those again dattebayo." His point seemed to have gotten across for Naruto was walking away.

Turning back to his subject, he noticed her also walking away. Deciding that hiding in trees was troublesome, he hopped down and followed her into the crowd.

So far, he had noticed a few things about Saito Amaya. One was that she liked seafood (she was apparently grocery shopping). She also had a lot of friends or acquaintances, as she stopped numerous times on the street to either greet or be greeted by people. Many of them were ninja, but a few were just regular citizens.

He wondered if this was just her being friendly or if she just knew a whole lot of people because of her work. He had gone to the hospital again today, and had waited but an hour when one of his prospects had come out. Working in the emergency ward certainly gave you odd hours, and he figured she got stuck with the night shift.

Sasuke had followed Amaya as she had gone to the market where she had bought lots of easy to prepare food, as well as fish. She had eaten at a sushi bar, and had been browsing the clothing section when Naruto had cut in. Now it appeared she was going home as she traveled farther away from the market, and closer to the residential areas.

She stopped at a small house and let herself in. Sasuke had assumed that most shinobi lived in apartments and didn't have pets. Amaya had proved him wrong in both respects, because when she opened the door, a dog greeted her. Another surprise was that she called back to him,

"You want to come in, or are you just going to slink around outside?" She had noticed him. Impressive.

Humoring her, Sasuke walked up to her smirking. She merely smiled back and walked into the house. After she had taken off her coat and had stopped her dog, 'Mari' from wildy attacking him, Amaya started walking into her house.

"Hungry?" she questioned as she made her way to what he presumed was the kitchen. When he shook his head, she merely shrugged, and led him into the kitchen anyway. When she got there, Amaya started putting the food she had bought away. He hadn't stopped smirking as he sat at her table.

She soon finished and dropped down across from him, "So, what's you're excuse for stalking me? Want an autograph?" Her expression was tired, but interested.

At this point, Sasuke realized something. He had absolutely no idea how to get a girl. He hadn't thought about what he was going to say if he were to be caught. 'Shit' was an appropriate word for the situation, and Sasuke used it to it's full potential. Mentally of course. Physically, Sasuke gave her his answer to everything.

"Oh, come _on._ Shrugging is not an answer! You're lucky I'm letting you answer at all, instead of call the police." Her glare couldn't rival his, but it was fairly decent.

It was then that Uchiha Sasuke made the worst mistake in his life. He told the truth.

"I need you to have my children."

He had never seen a person so speechless. Not when he returned, not when his brother's partner saw him fulfil his purpose. Never.

Her jaw fell to the ground. "Excuse _me?!_" If ever Sasuke had wanted to duck and cover, it would have been then. However, Uchihas did not cower.

"I need to resurrect my clan. Of course, we would not do so immediately. First, we would go through a courting process where I will evaluate your skill and see if you are worthy of bearing my children."

Her slap echoed. Boy was she angry, but for the life of him, Sasuke couldn't think of why. Was it some weird female thing? He had thought he'd be doing her an honor; many females would die for her position.

"First, you _stalk_ me! Then you _enter_ my _house_, and if that's not enough, you start spewing crap! _Who_ do you think you are?!" she screeched and stood up. He wisely decided to ignore the fact that he had only entered her house when she invited him in. Instead, he answered her question.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke." Instead of making her calmer, the answer seemed to get Amaya more riled up.

"Oh! So you're _Uchiha _Sasuke!" her voice turned mocking, "The _last_ survivor of the famous Uchiha clan! Traitor yet savior of Konoha! You think you can just come in here and expect me to have _sex_ with you?!"

Here, he did make an objection, "No, I said we would go through a courting period where I'd evaluate your--"

"Oh! So _now_ you're saying that I might not even be worthy of you huh?!" Her screaming was starting to annoy him.

"Listen!" he stood up as well, "I need to resurrect my clan. You can help. If you're not willing, you're not willing. You don't have to do anything."

Suddenly, she calmed down. Sasuke had no idea why, her expression also softened slightly, "You're trying to ask me out on a date aren't you?" He had an idea as to what a date was, and it was almost the same...he nodded. She started laughing,

"You're really weird." Sasuke was positive she wasn't one to talk, "I'll help you and we can try this again. Some tips: one, don't make her feel pressured, do not be as blunt as you were, and always give a specific time so if the girl doesn't want to, she can say she's busy. Got that? Now, go ring the doorbell."

Sasuke didn't like being told what to do, but decided to play along. Stepping outside, he shut the door and rang the bell. Mari started barking, and he heard Amaya call 'coming.'

"Hello! How can I help you?" She leaned against the doorway. He looked at her.

"...I was wondering if you wanted to go on a...date." She looked at him expectantly and mouthed 'specific', "How about," he checked his mental calendar, "lunch. The 15th?"

"Hmm...I don't think I can. Seminar at the clinic," she smiled, "good work. Now, go try it on someone who'll actually care."

With that, she slammed the door in his face. Uchiha Sasuke had been rejected for the first time.

Note: again, sorry for the inconvience, i'm glad i caught this so soon...um ya, reviews are nice, i need incentives...chocolate works too


	4. escort mission I: Ume and Yoko

Authoresses Note: Hello again! I think I'm doing really well with the whole updating thing. Let's hope that this continues. No particular warnings for this chapter, other than it's rather long by my writing standards. Oh, more OC's here! Again, if you think any of my characters are OOC or Mary-sueish, just tell me, and I'll fix it.

Let's see, life updates: nothing really. I'm actually getting homework (yeah, it's been more than 2/3 of the school year) and have a tad of an obsession with Bath and Body Works. That store smells nice I need some more manga to read, but have too many books. To end it, I shall comment about how the weather's being nice.

Disclaimer: I know you're all disappointed that I don't own Naruto, 'cause then you could come and stalk me for character rights and whatnot...I'm a very generous person on occasion

Chapter 4: escort mission I: Ume and Yoko

Another day, another mission. Such was the life of a shinobi, yet he still couldn't believe it. His personal mission had been on his mind for the past two days, and he had nearly forgotten other missions would be assigned.

This wasn't a particularly difficult mission, just an escort to Suna and back. While thinking about it during early morning practice, however, Sasuke realized that instead of hindering his plan, it would further research, as it was an escort mission to Suna.

There were plenty of kunoichi in Suna. Desert shinobis weren't pushovers like some of the ones in Konoha; they were tough and capable. He would be able to find more prospective females in Suna then he ever would here.

Suddenly, the mission with Team Kakashi didn't seem so bad.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

One day on the road with a loudmouth, semi-stalker, insulting artist, and pervert and Sasuke was already not in the best of moods. His spirit had not been aided by the fact that the 'clients' were women. Daughters of some important person or another.

Females of any sort were generally not pleasant to Sasuke. These two however, went over the limit. The eldest at first appeared to be like him, both in appearance and attitude as she had black hair and dark eyes. But first impressions are rarely to be believed. She was a cunning girl, and had managed to irritate every member of the shinobi team.

The second one had too appeared quiet, with dark brown hair and light blue eyes. When they had set off, Naruto had immediately gone ahead with Sakura, leaving the four to walk in silence. After five minutes, this one had broken the quiet with a simple statement,

"Yoko nee-chan, do you have a tampon? I seem to have misplaced mine."

Sasuke had a good idea of what the object in question was, and a blush tinted his cheeks as he looked away. Yoko, though, had no qualms and answered in a similar manner,

"I'm sorry Ume imoto-chan, it is at the bottom of my bag. Perhaps one of these gentlemen carry one around for the needy female." Yoko looked expectantly at her guards: Kakashi was smiling, he was looking away, and Sai was glancing quizzically at everyone.

"Well, do you? No? Perhaps that pink haired woman has one? Would one of you be a dear and run up to her and ask?" Her eyes now held a sheen of mischief as she looked at each in turn, "Imoto-chan, who shall we send?"

Ume scrutinized each carefully, and pointed at Sai, "He seems like the most trust-worthy. We shall send him to ask the pink haired lady for a tampon." Sasuke pitied Sai, but not much. It was rather amusing for the girls to pick the one of them who looked as if he had no inkling of what they were asking for. One had to wonder what they were up to.

"Right. You there, what is your name?"

Sai looked back at the short girl, smiling his fake smile, "You may call me Sai. I am--"

Yoko cut him off, "yeah, yeah, whatever. Go ask that pink haired girl if she has a tampon."

Sai simply nodded, thinking it was something important, and ran up to the pink haired kunoichi.

There was a silence. Sakura had paused, looking at Sai in a strange manner and going red. Sasuke noticed that Sai was waiting expectantly while Naruto was looking between the two and undoubtedly questioning what a tampon was. When the rest of the party reached them, Yoko demanded again,

"Well? Do you? This guy here," she pointed at Sasuke, "has never seen one in his life!" When Sasuke heard that, he was going to protest, but she cut him off. Their intent had become clear to him, though it seemed to have been hidden from everyone else. Kakashi may have known, but he was to busy watching the scene unroll.

"You really should educate your team more! Seriously! If these guys don't know what a tampon is, and you're incapacitated, how are you gonna stop the blood?"

Silence permeated the air again, only this time, it was broken by Ume's soft giggling. Yoko was glaring at Sakura who was speechless due to the embarrassment. Sasuke was impassive, the blush gone and waiting for the finale, Naruto was looking confused, as was Sai, but he hid it better. Kakashi however, looked like he was having a field day.

The dobe however, would not be left in the dark long, and started spewing questions.

"Sakura-chan, what's a tampon? It stops bleeding? Why have I never used one? Are you bleeding?! OH GOD!! SAKURA-CHAN DON'T DIE!! WE NEED YOU! DATTEBAYO!!"

Yoko's previous mischievous look was gone, replaced by one of shear entertainment, "oh, dear! Sakura-san, are you saying that you actually _haven't_ even informed these boys about the wonders of menstruation?! How could you rob yourself and your would be pupils of a learning experience?! Do you not know how to go about it? Well, fear not! Ume moto-chan is going to be a doctor and can explain the wonders of PMS to these four boys!! Walking is the best way to digest information, and it will pass the time! Take it away Ume-chan!"

That was the beginning of the longest walk from Konoha to Suna in the history of the two villages. Ume went into _great_ detail about the tiniest facts. Sasuke had a vague idea of what a woman's cycle was, but _that_ was something else. He was mentally scarred for life.

He had listened at the beginning...they all had. They had all listened in gross fascination. How could they not? The girl had a voice that compelled you to listen. By the end, even Sai was blushing. Naruto was looking at the females in horror, Sasuke would've liked to think of himself as composed, and Kakashi had disappeared. Sakura was blushing as much as Hinata around Naruto. Then the Yoko girl had the nerve to ask for a tampon again.

No one answered, and they quickly set up camp. The air was permeated by an awkwardness silence foreign to camps that also contained a certain loudmouth blond.

The two sisters had also quieted down, Yoko had a puzzle in front of her and Ume had a book. Neither looked remotely concerned that their ninja guardians weren't on the highest alert. Sasuke wondered about this, but never said anything. He had decided to stay as far away from those girls as physically possible because they were both females and frankly, rather odd.

As Sakura was cooking, Kakashi was reading his book, Naruto was absently throwing a kunai repeatedly into a tree, and Sasuke was finishing up the tents, Sai took out his sketch book and sat down facing the trees. The exercise was considered normal, and none of team Kakashi seemed to notice or care.

Ume, however, caught this action out of the corner of her eye. She placed her bookmark and started watching him. Sai noticed her staring, and turned around, smiling his fake smile.

"Do you need something?" She shook her head, a smile forming on her lips, similar to his. Sasuke realized just how much the younger girl resembled Sai when she had 'enlightened' them. Her speech was blunt, to the point, yet incredibly insulting and graphic.

"Why no, Sai-san, I find it quite intriguing that you draw. People drawing has always amused me, especially one such as uneducated as yourself." The artist's smile did not fade as he answered,

"Perhaps artists don't like nosy little girls watching them, for fear of the ugliness spreading to the painting, so I must ask that you refrain from your amusement."

At this, Yoko joined the conversation, not looking up from her puzzle, "Sai, don't speak to imoto-chan like that. I'll have to hurt you."

Sai's smile was still in place as the other members of the group looked on in amusement.

"I should like to see you try to land one scratch on me. I was trained in ANBU root division. Weak, ugly girls like yourselves wouldn't be able to get near me."

Instead of shrinking in fear, Yoko laughed, "Who says we need blows? We've already won! Your mind became a blushing pile of jell-o at imoto-chan's explanation." Her smile grew larger as Sai's expression turned to one of slight irritation and embarrassment. "Why we could do it again if you want! Hmm...let's see...I know how about--"

She was cut off by her sister looking sternly at her, "No, Yoko nee-chan! Sai draws. That gives him pardon. Besides, he's too unemotional to care," she turned to a still irritated Sai. He did _not_ need 16 year old girls defending him, "I apologize for my sister. She does not like shinobi very much." she smiled, and flounced over to him, "However, you draw. Drawing is very good. You're out of our bingo books," her smile was genuine this time. The sudden mood changes were not hidden, and Sasuke picked them up. Memories of the lecture that had occurred less than an hour ago were still fresh in his mind, and he couldn't help but wonder if the girl next to the artist was experiencing her...thing.

Sai again looked confused, but said nothing, wisely deciding to go back to his drawing. The rest of team Kakashi though, was not so forgiving.

"Hey! Why is Sai out? He's a teme!! If anyone, you should take Sakura-chan and me out dattebayo! We're not perverts or temes!!" Naruto was on his feet, accusing the two girls. One glanced away from her puzzle but a minute and the other paid him no mind. "Oi! I'm speaking to you!!" Rolling her eyes, Yoko answered him,

"Drawing is a good skill most ninja don't possess. From our experience, shinobi who draw are good. We have also decided that loudmouths are to be put at the top of our hit list." That comment made Sasuke's opinion of the girls drastically change. Before, they were merely annoying, now they were karma at it's best.

The conversation between the two parties was sure to be interesting, but Sasuke tuned it out. Diner was served, and eating around Naruto had been giving him headaches. Whether it be the dobe's conversation, or the distinct smell of ramen was anyone's guess.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

When they reached Suna, Naruto looked relived, while the others merely looked exhausted. The girls had not been kind. Description of all sorts had flowed from both mouths in a steady stream, targeting everything and everyone. The brunt of their attacks had been on Naruto as promised, and they had just been pushing him into a debate about whether the color red or blue was better when the gates of Suna had appeared on the horizon.

Naruto had literally sprinted his way to the safe haven of the Kazekage's realm. Gaara would not bother him constantly about the most pointless and sometimes graphic concepts known to man.

As the rest of the team caught up, Naruto could be seen complaining to a silent red head who was quickly turning murderous. Sasuke suddenly realized why this was a 'B' ranked mission, but fighting off the Kazekage was not something included in this job description.

Neither client seemed to notice the disturbance in the air, and continued walking, Ume in the peculiar manner she had been using for the past hour. Ume especially had some...odd tendencies they had noticed. The most notable was how she slept with the sun at sunset and woke at sunrise. Yoko had explained how she hated stars and would go insane should she see them.

Sasuke dismissed it as weird. Yoko had also proven that she would not wear pants, choosing instead to wear really long obnoxious skirts that would get caught on everything then she would smack anyone of them for trying to help her with a loud cry of "Hentai!"

He had decided from the start the girls were bizarre regardless of their use as tools of karma. His resolve of staying as far away as possible from both was a failure. Guarding people from a mile away was not possible. Still, Naruto had kept them occupied and for that, Sasuke as grateful.

As they reached the gates, Kakashi took that time to repeat the rest of the job description, "Remember, we must guard these girls during their stay at Suna and return them safely to Konoha in six days."

Kakashi had just joined the Ramen Stand in the plot to ruin his life. They were both out to get him: reminding him constantly of everything that would torment him and putting unreasonable plot seeds in his mind.

While Sasuke was thinking about how he would destroy Ichiraku Ramen, Sakura and Sai looked on in horror as their sensei put his nose back in his book with a very conspicuous air of delight around him. Thankfully Naruto had not heard the reminder, but the two girls had. One would expect them to look overjoyed.

But they didn't. Yoko was scowling at Naruto and Ume looked about to burst into tears. The signs indicated to Sasuke that the girls didn't like his team anymore than the shinobi liked them.

Tough luck. If shinobi guards didn't like their clients, they'd be less inclined to save them from a Kazekage stalking towards them, murderous intent growing larger as he neared. Choosing between a pissed off Hokage and murderous Kazekage was not a hard decision.

Note: hehehe, I love Gaara. Reviews are nice, especially for rarely motiviated people like myself!


	5. reconnaissance IV: Suna

Authoress's note: Hola! And welcome to chapter five. I almost forgot to post this today...;

Happy Springtime of Youth! (finally!) Gai-sensei/Lee are really the only reasons I tollerate spring at all XD. It's too...mushy for me.

Disclaimer: It hurts a little inside everytime I say this...I don't own Naruto (characters) TT.TT

Chapter 5: reconnaissance IV: Suna

Ah, Suna, village of the desert, where sand flies into your eyes and the sun roasts you like there's no tomorrow. The perfect female was bound to be able to survive this heat. Too bad he wasn't there for sight seeing.

Sasuke had been put on babysitting duty, the worst kind of mission, made harder by the exasperating clients. Yoko and Ume had been in a bad mood ever since Gaara had decided to kill them. They hadn't been fazed, and had acted like true ladies should be towards the angry Kazekage.

It appears that they did have manners down in those black hearts of theirs...way down there.

After much explaining and manipulating, the girls got off with nothing but a warning. Gaara however, did show signs of never forgetting.

At any rate, it turned out that the girls were merely there for a shopping trip. Babysitting two teenage girls in a crowd of people was not easy, nor was it fun. Sasuke had been put on duty first because his other teammates had passed out as soon as they reached the hotel.

However, the shopping allowed for some kunoichi hunting. The girls were paying attention to the trinkets and clothing booths and shops that littered the streets, allowing Sasuke to observe the female species in its natural habitat. He decided to be discreet though, who knew what Yoko or even Ume would pick up on.

So far, he had found one prospective female. She was had a rather short stature, with strawberry blond hair and green sparkling eyes. She appeared to be eating hanabiramochi as she looked at a small booth of brightly colored clothing. Not exactly his type, but she was the only woman that was recognizable as a kunoichi in that particular crowd.

He was just contemplating how best to talk to her (trying not to think of Amaya who _did not_ reject him), when he was interrupted by his thankfully forgotten charges.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun, what're you staring at?" Yoko had started addressing him as such once the crush had turned stalker-ish.

"Hnn...are you done shopping?" he questioned trying to avoid answering. His glare added to the effect somewhat and proved to everyone around he was not doing this willingly. Ume just smiled her Sai smile.

"Sasuke-san, we are no where near done, but if you wish to go hook up with a girl, we would be most willing to help." See, they _did_ pick up too much.

Yoko looked at her sister in utter horror, "No Ume moto-chan! Sasuke-kun belongs to me! We can't assist him in picking up another girl!!"

"But Yoko nee-chan, Sasuke-kun clearly doesn't like you. If you pursue him farther and he hurts you, I'd have to hurt him, and I would rather not. No offence Sasuke-san." Ume looked at her sister with a practiced solemn look, as if she had done this before.

Yoko paused for a minute, then smiled brightly, "You're right Ume moto-chan! Sasuke-kun is a...what was it that Naruto-kun used again...oh yeah! Teme!" She directed her smile, which had turned triumphant, "Alrighty Sasuke-teme! I'm over you! Now, who has captured your attention! I need something to do and playing matchmaker is always fun!"

That girl was definitely in her cycle. Those mood swings weren't normal.

Sasuke shrugged it off, his victory of ridding himself of a fan-girl was temporary as now they were forced to focus on playing 'matchmaker.' He needed an excuse and soon.

Soon came too early apparently, as Ume followed his previous gaze over to the blond haired girl. She tapped her sister, and they started whispering. Not a good sign. Soon after, Yoko declared,

"Alright Sasuke-teme! Let's go pick up a girl!" Ume was busy pulling a sheet of paper out of her purse. It was titled, 'minute pickup lines for all'.

"Here, Sasuke-san, memorize one of these lines, say them to her, and poof! She's yours!" Ume had a plotting look on her face: the smile was a little more evil than Sai's, but still rather fake. Sasuke eyed the paper warily, but he took it. It was either that or facing the sisters' wrath.

Evidently he took too long to decide, and the girls got impatient. "Augh! Here! Just use this one!!" Yoko picked a random one and pushed him toward the girl.

She shoved him too hard, and he ended up bumping into her, sending both of them off balance, though neither fell down.

"Oi! Watch it smart guy!" She shoved him playfully. Sasuke was starting to regret this plan; the girl's wrath couldn't be _that _bad right?

Yoko seemed not to notice his reluctance, and made a hand motion for him to get on with it,"Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the five-hundred yen?" The girl laughed at his stoic tone, but nevertheless replied,

"Umm...the yen will be fine, I actually needed that much to buy a shirt here! Thanks!" Her preppy attitude reminded him of Naruto, but he still took out the money, handing it to her. The woman then ran up to the register and paid for a shirt. Sasuke was about to walk away when she grabbed his arm.

"Where do you thing you're going mister? You just used a pick-up line, and now you're stuck with me! I'm not done shopping." Did all females enjoy torturing him, or did he just have the misfortune of meeting the morbid ones?

Grunting, he allowed her to pull him into a coffee shop. He noticed both Yoko and Ume were stalking them. Following would have been a better term to use in normal circumstances, but knowing them it was definitely stalking. They sat in a both near Sasuke's where they would have a good view of him, but his current 'kidnapper' could not see them.

"So, what's you're name? Or are we gonna do one of those things were we don't know? Either one is fine with me. Oh, and you have some stalkers...just thought you should know."

Sasuke sighed, realizing he might as well go along, "Uchiha Sasuke. I know about those two, just ignore them." Her eyes widened slightly at his name, but said nothing about it.

"Ah, well I'm Mizushima Kameko. Let's see, I like the outdoors, shopping and dogs! I'm a Jounin, and by the looks of it, so are you...do you want something to eat." She ordered some green tea and more hanabiramochi. He also ordered tea, so as not to seem rude. Noticing her expectant looks, he sighed again, and started thinking of a way to describe himself,

"I'm Sasuke. I don't like a lot of things, but I like to train and go on solo missions. As you said, I am a jounin, but for Konoha. I'm here babysitting the two 'stalkers' you saw." She laughed at his description of his mission,

"Boy do I know what you're talking about!" She then went on to explain about a escort mission she had been on where the client had three young children. He took the time to analyze her: she was a lot like Naruto in the sense that she liked to talk, but she seemed smarter, like Kakashi in the sense that she always seemed to know more than she let on. She had a tendency to go off topic, but it seemed intentional, and not at all like rambling. She had noticed that he wasn't much of a talker, and only asked for his opinions occasionally.

Their little impromptu lunch carried on in much the same manner. Towards the end, she looked at the time, "Oh crap! I'm really sorry Sasuke-san, but I have to go! Perhaps tomorrow we could get together? You haven't obviously sparred in a while so perhaps at the training grounds? Number 3? I'll see you there tomorrow umm...1 o'clock?" she had paused for his nod of acceptance, then ran out after leaving enough money to pay for her food.

As he leaned back, reflecting on the somewhat date, he noted two presences filling the space opposite of him. Groaning, he opened his eyes to the two grinning girls.

"We helped Sasuke-teme, so now he has to help us! Don't you agree Ume moto-chan?" Her sister nodded.

"Okay! What shall we have Sasuke-san do? Hmm...maybe he could--"

"I'm not helping either of you. We're heading back to the hotel where Kakashi can take both of you off my hands." Sasuke growled, but that seemed to make the girl's grins wider,

"No, no Sasuke-teme! See, we know about this little date, and unless you want it spread around that you're looking for a girlfriend, you'll do exactly what we tell you." Yoko's amusement was clearly greater than Ume's at the horror that flashed across his face.

"Ne, Yoko nee-chan, don't you think we should save the favor that Sasuke-san owes us? It could be very useful in the future, besides, I am tired. Let us go back to the hotel as Sasuke-san suggested." Ume did look tired, Sasuke merely looked relieved as Yoko agreed to her sister's plan.

As they made their way through the crowded streets, Sasuke contemplated Yoko's statement. It was clearly blackmail, but he could do nothing about it. For right now, he would have to hope that they forgot. Yoko might have, but Ume looked the type to remember this kind of thing.

Sasuke mentally swore. He did _not_ want to be in debt to the two hellions.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

Last night had been one of the most worst nights in the whole mission. Yoko and Ume had not wanted to share a bed because of a stupid fight they had over god knows what. That would have been fine, if not for the fact that they only had three double beds and a single. Sai had refused to sleep with anyone, choosing instead a chair. Ume had claimed the single, stating that she had odd sleeping tendencies that normal people couldn't tolerate (apparently her sister could). Naruto and Sakura had chosen a double together with little reluctance from either side, Kakashi took the last double and absolutely nothing in the world could get Sasuke to sleep with that perv.

Guess where that left him. Yoko had been put above Kakashi but lower than the Ramen stand on his hit list that night. She had planned, he was _positive_. He was more convinced of this fact than he had ever been: that evil grin was _not_ normal.

He had been sleeping when the first attempted rape had occurred. She said it wasn't, and she was merely sleeping and moved. Bull-shit. Sasuke hadn't gotten a wink of sleep after that; she kept 'shifting'. Cause a hand just happens to feel him up.

The morning, if it was possible, was worse than the night. Everyone had fought over the two bathrooms, causing Sasuke to loose even more sleep.

That left him in a foul mood. He seemed to have a perpetual irritated throbbing on his temple, and his glare turned up even higher than normal. At first, Sasuke had directed his glare at Yoko, but she didn't respond, so he shifted it to objects. The only redeeming part had been that Kakashi had given him a letter to deliver to Temari, the sand nin he had seen at the chuunin exams.

This had upped his mood considerably, not only was he able to get out of the hotel room, but he was able to observe another female on his list. He had started out immediately, realizing it would take even longer since he didn't know where Temari was. Perfect.

He decided that the Kazekage's office would be a good place to start. She was his sister after all. He had found her in no time, and walked up to her.

"I have a message from Kakashi," he said in his most bored voice. She responded with equal cool as she grabbed the scroll he held out,

"Yeah, what does that pervert want with me?" Sasuke shrugged, and her eyes scanned the paper. He could tell it wasn't a mission scroll, but couldn't think of a reason Kakashi would carry a personal letter for someone. Her response showed nothing as she merely put the letter away in her bag. He took this as a sign to leave, but she looked back up at him, "Hey, you're that Uchiha from the Chuunin Exams right? The one that ran away?" Her tone didn't suggest that she was judging him, merely curious. He stopped walking and nodded as she caught up with him.

"Heh," she smirked, "Not very talkative are we? My brother is the same way. You wanna know what we'd have done to you if you'd tried the stunt you pulled here, then tried to come back?" Her smirk grew larger as if daring him to say yes.

He simply smirked back at her and shook his head, "No, if I had been a Suna shinobi, I probably wouldn't've needed to run in the first place." Temari didn't seem to notice he was complementing her in his own way, and merely shrugged,

"What can I say, Konoha is getting soft," by that time, they had reached the front doors. Sasuke was reluctant to go back to the hotel, so he asked in all casualness,

"You wanna train?"

She smirked at him again, "What? You not doing anything? Clearly you're here on a mission, is it so bad that you want to fight against me?"

"You have no idea..." he would might have said more, if not for a sudden figure that ran out of a nearby street, screeching something that sounded suspiciously like his name. The fact was not hindered by the figure walking towards them.

"Sasuke-teme! Where do you think you're going?! We have to get you ready for you're date!!" Sasuke mentally slapped his head and physically scowled at the girl. Temari seemed amused,

"My, my, Sasuke-teme huh? What, has she been taking lessons for Naruto or something?" Her laughter continued until Yoko came to a stop in front of them, glaring at Temari,

"And who do you think you are?"

Temari's laughter stopped as she sized the younger girl up, "I'm Temari. I happen to know you're hostage here from an exam we took. Who are you?" She grinned at Sasuke at the word 'hostage'.

"Sasuke-teme is my shinobi guard! He is not a hostage, I'm merely helping him pick up a girl. Do you want us to help you get him back?" Sasuke's scowl deepened as the conversation carried on as if he wasn't present.

Again, Temari laughed, "No thanks. I'm already involved with someone. Good luck with that though!" She waved as she walked in the opposite direction.

Sasuke thought about what she had said as Yoko dragged him back to the hotel. She was already with someone else, therefore unavailable. It didn't really matter, his ego had taken a bit of a hit with the second rejection, but it could recover. What mattered was that he had to cross a name off his mental list. He would say it again and a again that he wasn't picky, but standards had to be met. Crossing even one name off was one less chance at finding an ideal wife.

...wait that came out wrong. Sasuke re-analyzed himself and his 'standards'. Was it too hard to ask for decent ninja skills, no large physical flaws, and a reasonably smart mind? He thought of how few girls were on his list. Maybe it was. He hadn't grown up around many girls, but he knew enough to know they weren't perfect: far from it! Was setting the standard just below that bad too?

As they reached the hotel, Sasuke decided not to think about it. He had found females, and one of them was bound to work. Worrying needlessly was for women.

Note: longer chapter (somewhat) tell me about OC's or OOC's or improvements that can be made...I don't pretend to be good at writing.

Reviews are nice (wink wink, hint hint, nudge nudge)


	6. reconnaissance V: Mizushima Kameko

Authoress's Note: hello again! contrary to popular tendency, my life is not hectic right now. it's rather...odd. here's an extra long...rather odd chapter.

listening to: every breath you take

disclaimer: Sigh...don't own. I do however, own the 27th manga (Kakashi Gaidenlove) and some random part(i think it's the first part of the Chuunin Exams) in Shonen Jump. OH! I also own the one where itachi comes in 3 hehee...i'm such a stalker

reconnaissance V: Mizushima Kameko

Yoko had the Mangekyo Sharingan. The girl was dangerous. Actually, it was probably Ume who held it, but Yoko certainly came close. Only, instead of seeing his family die again and again, Sasuke listened to two girls drill him about dating for seventy-two hours.

He couldn't decide which was worse. Sasuke was glad Itachi was dead, otherwise his brother would have discovered yet another horrible memory to remind him of. Then again, if Itachi was still alive, he would still be looking for him, and not back in Konoha on this god forsaken mission.

Regret was not something the former avenger felt often, especially about completing his main goal in his life. Yoko and Ume had however, outdone themselves. For what had felt like 72 hours, but was actually only about three they had lectured him on exactly what he was supposed to do during his what they called 'date' and what he called reconnaissance. Kakashi, Naruto, Sai, and Sakura had been kicked out of the hotel rooms, and the horror had begun.

Sasuke _never_ wanted to see another chart, graph, data table or any such thing _ever again._ They just kept...reproducing! Kakashi-the-traitor had informed Ume of the uses of the Sharingan so everything they had shown him was trapped in his memory for eternity and a half. By the end of it, the Uchiha had been strapped to a chair, sharingan forced on (how they had learned to do that was a mystery, but whomever had informed them had to die a painful death), and contemplating suicide.

But he had managed...somehow. Afterwards, Yoko and Ume put away all their crap and told him to get ready. Thanks to the information overload, Sasuke knew how. It wasn't particularly difficult, it was the fact he was bending to the girl's will. _That_ scared him more than any seminar the girls could possibly put on.

After a last minute briefing, they finally walked out the door. The rest of Team 7 seemed to have disappeared, leaving Sasuke with babysitting duty...again. There was a possibility of murder that night, or suicide.

Once they reached the training grounds, Ume pulled Yoko into the shadows, and left Sasuke to walk the rest of the way himself. When he arrived, he noticed Kameko warming up. Walking up to her, she sensed his presence and looked up grinning,

"Well, look who managed to show up! I was debating whether you'd actually come, or if I'd have to hunt you down." He gave her one of his smirks, and also started warming up.

"I'm on babysitting duty again, so my stalkers are probably going to stay hidden, but we should keep to the open field just in case," he warned after a few minutes of warm ups. Sasuke didn't see any trees, and wondered where the currently matchmakers had hidden themselves.

"Oh dear. We could ditch them if you wanted," her humor was poorly hidden behind the sympathetic mask. Sasuke merely shrugged,

"I'm okay if you are," and with that, the sparring began. Slowly at first to analyze eachother's style, but after fifteen minutes or so it began to speed up. Even though neither was going all in, it was still a nice fight. Both were breathing heavily when Kameko called it quits,

"You're pretty good for Konoha," the woman said as she pushed her blond hair away from her head.

He merely smirked back, "You're pretty good for a female." Her response came in the form of a shove,

"Let's go. I'm hungry." Sasuke stuffed his hands into his pockets and caught up to the kunoichi who had already turned away and started walking. Choosing one of the many conversation starters Yoko had so thoughtfully drilled into his skull, Sasuke modified it a bit to fit the situation,

"So...what do you do as a kunoichi? You don't strike me as a medic."

She laughed, "Yeah, I tried the whole medic thing. Didn't work to say the least. Mostly, I do field research. Ya know. Scouting and the like. Not most peoples cup of tea, but I find it fun. Lots of outdoors and stuff." It really fit her, Sasuke realized. She had been able to recognize genjutsu, and though she wasn't particularly fast, she had been quiet.

He then realized she was speaking to him, "So what do you do then? You don't strike me as the medic type either," Kameko smiled at him as they entered a small diner.

"I already told you I like solo missions. Any type are okay."

"But aren't you on a team mission right now? Do you not like your team or something?"

Sasuke merely smirked at her as the waitress came to the table, "What can I get you two today?" Sasuke again ordered tea, but Kameko ordered a small platter of sashimi. When he looked at her, she merely shrugged,

"What? I'm hungry! Not all women care about eating too much!" Her statement definitely boosted his opinion of her. Sasuke had noticed Sakura and Ino's obsession with weight, and was not going to fault Kameko for the opposite. "Now, back to your team. What's wrong with them? Holding you back or something?"

"They don't hold me back," Sasuke corrected her immediately. He had thought so once, but Naruto and Sakura had come so far that even he had to admit to it.

"So what? They don't have teamwork?"

"Maybe too much would be more accurate..." The twenty questions continued all they way through they're semi date. Kameko he had found to be a very good companion. She was a tad blunt, but genuine. She meant everything she said, but he had noticed she was also rather bossy. She could also be extremely stubborn, and would not allow him to pay for her.

Sasuke had yet to find a major fault in the Suna kunoichi. That changed as soon as they walked out the door. A group of girls came in as they left, and one of them had a large pink bag. He would have thought it would go ignored, but Kameko had other plans. When the bag accidentally brushed her, she froze. He hadn't noticed and kept walking. When Sasuke did realize her, it was because she was bolting right past him.

Not walking fast, ninja, running-through-the-trees fast. Sasuke was so confused he shot after her. She led him half way across town and into a small apartment building. He found her in a kitchen of a small complex on the fifth floor viciously scrubbing her forearm.

Wiping the puzzlement from his face, Sasuke entered the room with a blank expression and sat at the table. He watched as she used multiple soaps from under her sink to wash with. When she was done, she turned around with a sheepish smile on her face and rubbing the back of her head,

"Heh, heh...gomen Sasuke...I umm...yeah..."

"Don't like pink?" He showed her a smug smile as she tried to laugh it off.

"Yeah...it was a long time ago. Long story, but it's pretty funny--"

"_Shit!_" Sasuke interrupted, standing up. This got a questioning and somewhat hurt expression from Kameko: she did not like to be disrupted when telling a story.

"I forgot about Yoko and Ume! _Dammit!_" he explained slapping his forehead. Sasuke couldn't care less about those two, but they were his charges, and if they got hurt or something, Tsunade would get pissed at him.

"Well, what are you waiting for?! Let's go look for them!" Kameko clearly understood the pressure of higher-ups. She jumped up, and together they raced out the door to retrace their steps.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

"...and finally Sasuke, you can't just forget about the clients no matter how attractive your date is," at this, Kakashi winked at the blushing girl next to the semi-peeved, former avenger, "You'd better be glad nothing happened." Sometimes it amazed Sasuke just how quickly and easily his sensei could change his and everyone else's mood.

At least it had been Kakashi and not Naruto or Sakura to have spotted the duo as they frantically raced around Suna. Either one of them would have questioned him for hours afterward about Kameko, but Kakashi would simply use the knowledge about his so called 'date' to hang over the rest of Team 7's head, or some other discreet annoyance. Neither was a favorable outlook, Kakashi, however, could be trusted (to a certain degree) with this kind of knowledge.

Sasuke's attention was pulled out of his current train of thought by Kameko's farewell. Sasuke wordlessly followed her, leaving Kakashi to watch the two bickering girls.

When they were far enough away from the door, Kameko turned around to face him. An awkward silence permeated the air. Sasuke didn't know what to say, and the kunoichi had a good idea of this, so she cleared her throat.

"Umm...well...maybe we could meet again? This," she raised her hands and gestured around haphazardly, "Was certainly interesting."

It certainly had. Sasuke and Kameko had run wildly around Suna looking for his two charges, only to find them in the care of Kakashi. All three of them had been waiting patiently outside a small grocery store on the outskirts of the less-than-friendly neighborhood of Suna. How and why either party had been in that district was anybody's guess, and when questioned, no one gave an answer.

After they had headed back, Kakashi had sent the two younger girls to the other room. Once that was done, Sasuke's sensei gave him his second lecture in a day. Kameko pretended to be oblivious, but her hand was raised to her mouth in an attempt to mute her giggles and smile.

Thankfully, the lecture hadn't lasted very long, but that meant Sasuke was here.

"Yeah. I didn't catch your address when..." he cut off, not sure of what to name her sudden outburst.

"I freaked out and ran into it to scrub my arm free of any pink residue?" she supplied and laughed.

He smirked and nodded. They exchanged addresses, and Kameko promised to visit next time she was in Konoha. Just as he was about to turn and leave, she grabbed his arm,

"Hey! Where do you think you're going? Ya, I know about the whole 'mission comes first' your sensei drilled you on, but you have to say goodbye." Sasuke noticed that stubborn spark that resided in her eyes whenever she was adamant about something and also a glimmer of mischief. He merely gave her a questioning look as he remembered what Yoko had told him about goodbyes.

Sasuke remembered very little of that particular part of the lecture, but he did remember that it involved kissing. He mentally blanched; Uchiha's did _not_ do kissing, especially in public. Kameko also seemed to like her personal space as she rolled her eyes, "It's just a goodbye, what's so hard?" Sasuke decided her questioning could get rather annoying on occasion, especially at times like this.

She sighed, and reached up to plant a kiss on his cheek, "There, now you give one to me. Unless, of course, you're too scared of cooties!" His slight blush that had arisen due to the kiss darkened at the thought of being scared of anything. Her words were enough to give him an incentive to lightly brush his lips against her lightly tanned cheek that was also showing signs of red.

"See," she smiled and looked rather embarrassed, "That wasn't so bad. Well, Ja ne!" at that she turned her back and headed in the direction of her apartment. Sasuke replied with a low 'ja' and stayed there for several more moments. He told himself it was because he didn't want to go back to the hotel room where he would undoubtedly be bombarded with questions on his date.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

He had been questioned. Quite a bit. Yoko and Ume pulled him away from the door as soon as he entered and sat him on the bed. He answered in a very noncommital way, which seemed to get them off his case sooner.

After that, he had sat around polishing his weapons. When Naruto, Sakura and Sai returned, sleeping arrangements were changed, as Ume and Yoko had made up, so Sasuke got the single bed. The next day, Sasuke got up early and escaped so as not to be put on guard duty again. He trained the day away, stopping only for lunch. After another night in the hotel, they set off for Konoha. Travel followed a similar pattern as before, with Yoko and Ume bothering everyone especially Naruto.

When they had arrived home, they found the charges' father waiting at the gate. Once those two were gone, Team Kakashi scattered: Kakashi to god knows where, Sai supposedly to his apartment, and Naruto and Sakura went to deliver the mission report. That left him to his own devices.

Deciding he did not want to see another market for quite some time, Sasuke took the long way to his house. Along the way, he reflected on his personal mission. He had found another girl to add to his list, but right now he was worn out from hyper, crazy girls for a while. Tomorrow was sure to be a free day, with nothing but training.

Sasuke mentally went over his list of females. One particular specimen caught his mental eye: the Hyuuga's teammate. She had seemed level headed, and wouldn't freak him out significantly. If he had to fight the Hyuuga to talk to her...

Tomorrow he would go and find team Gai. A spar with a Hyuuga would be refreshing.

Note: oh dear, poor Sasuke-kun. Whatever will happen? I don't pretend to be a good writer, so constructive critisim is always welcome. Reviews are also good!


	7. reconnaissance VI: Hyuuga’s teammate

Authoresses Note: Hehe...I've started writing oneshots that have been infinitely more successful than this, but I'll finish Contemplating the Second Ambition cause I hate incomplete stories. Besides, it's almost done!!

Listening to: Roxanne

Chapter 7: reconnaissance VI: Hyuuga's teammate

First on the agenda was to find her name. It's not that he was stupid, he just didn't pay attention to those kinds of things: they weren't worth his time. Her name hadn't been important in the Chuunin Exams, and he hadn't seen her since. Sasuke really didn't want to do this, but he had to ask someone.

That's why he found himself outside his sensei's apartment at seven in the morning, debating whether it was safe to go in. Kakashi had canceled training today, and Sasuke wasn't sure if he would find out why if he knocked. Apparently, he didn't need to make the decision because at that moment, the door swung open to reveal a bored looking Kakashi,

"Yo," the copy nin greeted in his normal fashion. Sasuke merely nodded. Not wanting to be there any longer than he had to, Sasuke got right to the point,

"What are the names of Gai's students?" He almost regretted it. Kakashi was a lot more perceptive, and what with his goings on in Suna, Sasuke had no doubt his sensei was putting the pieces together, the smile that appeared in his one visible eye was proof of that.

"Now, why would you need that information?" His sensei needed to learn when to leave well enough alone, "Not trying to hook up with Hyuuga are you? So soon after that date, I would find it rude. Better hope that Kameko doesn't catch you."

Sasuke glared at Kakashi, contemplating murder, "I don't swing that way, sorry to disappoint you. I need the information, my reasons are my own."

"Oh my, Sasuke, didn't I teach you how to keep your temper? Mind your manners and all that," at that, he pulled out his orange book, clearly waiting for something. Sasuke's glower deepened as he rephrased his question.

"I need the names of the people on Team Gai...please."

"See," his sensei smiled as if he had just disciplined a small child, "That wasn't so hard. The members are Gai, Rock Lee, Hyuuga Neji, and Tenten. It'll be up to you to deduce who's who. Now, if you don't mind-" with that, he shut the door.

Sasuke mentally slapped himself. He would have liked to punch his sensei, but this would have to do. Sometimes, that man could just get so annoying.

With that, Sasuke took off towards the training grounds he had seen Hyuuga training on several times with his tea– Tenten.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

When Sasuke reached the training ground, he found the two taking a break. The Hyuuga immediately sensed him, and fixed a glare on him, "Uchiha." Sasuke replied in a similar manner, but continued walking up to Tenten. He stopped when he was right in front of her, and conjured up the mental list of 'pickup' lines that Ume and Yoko had showed him. Picking one that wasn't stupid (Hyuuga was there after all,) Sasuke recited the wordiest line on the page:

"Hello, well-formed Homo-Sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo-Sapien individual just prior to fertilization?"

Tenten stared at him for about five seconds before bursting out laughing. The Hyuuga tried to punch him.

His teammate beat him to it. Sasuke hadn't been hit in the head very often, at least in the way Sakura constantly hit Naruto. He made a promise to himself that he would stop that particular habit of his pink-haired teammate. It _goddamn hurt!_

"Oi!" he turned his glare up to level seven and focused it on the girl in the buns, "What was that for?!" She glared at him, all hints of laughter gone, but one could still see a faint blush across her cheeks. Hyuuga looked proud: his one female teammate had taken out Uchiha.

"That was for hitting on me! I made a promise to Gai-sensei to attack anyone who used a pickup line on me," she smiled as his glare became somewhat confused. How did that youth-obsessed creep know about pickup lines? Scratch that, he did _not_ want to know,

"I bet you didn't even know what it meant!" Sasuke spat back.

Neji became indignant, but Tenten merely laughed, "It meant, 'hello female. Wanna go watch porn at my house?'" She shrugged, "I've had to interpret worse with Lee and Gai-sensei." He bet she had, and he had no comeback, so he merely turned up his glare. The Hyuuga decided to enter the conversation,

"Uchiha, unless you want a fight, I suggest you apologize and walk away."

Sasuke merely scoffed, Uchiha's did _not _apologize, "A fight was exactly what I wanted. Seems like I got one," and with that, he fell into a fighting stance. His opponent also moved into a more suitable stance, but before either could make a move, Tenten got in the way,

"Oi! Neji, relax!" she rolled her eyes at her sparring partner, "You don't need to beat up every wacko who tries to hit on me. And don't even think of going on a tirade about my honor and crap! I can take care of myself, you know." As she continued to convince the Hyuuga that he didn't need to fight, only one thing registered in Sasuke's mind:

She had called him a wacko. No one had called an Uchiha a wacko. Ever.

Sasuke really wished she was a he, then he could punch her. As it was, he merely fixed a level eight glare on her. Tenten, however, didn't seem to notice, as she turned to face him,

"Yo, 'kay, listen Sasuke-san, I'm gonna make this clear: using pickup lines on me isn't gonna work. Just a simple asking on a date is fine. Preferably not while I'm training, as I'll get pissy if it's interrupted. Got it?" He merely shrugged,

"Great!" she smiled, "Let's see, you can leave now, and you don't have to apologize. Just don't come into my line of sight for a while, and stay clear of Neji." With that, she walked back into the middle of the training ground and continued where she had left off.

Sasuke contemplated staying there just to spite her, but decided against it. Instead, he walked off into the direction he had been heading. No use in giving the Hyuuga the satisfaction that the Uchiha had come all the way out here to get rejected.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

Fowl moods were a constant in the life of an Uchiha, but Sasuke had set off that day to have a spar with the Hyuuga, and was quite put out that he didn't get it. Not only that, but Naruto had decided to 'take him out' to have some 'manly-bonding' time.

So that was how he found himself at the accursed ramen stand, and it was fulfilling it's role on his hit-list.

Ichiraku Ramen was having him think about it rejection earlier that day. Sasuke hated being rejected. It wasn't his thing, and people rarely denied him, especially girls. A woman had never denied him anything. Sure, he hated his fangirls, but he had been surrounded by them for almost his whole life. Sasuke supposed that since these were the girls he had grown up with, he had assumed all females were like that.

But that was the purpose of this whole exercise wasn't it? To find a female unlike the fangirls who could then bare his children. Sasuke was just celebrating his victory of countering the Ramen Stand's self-analyzing when Naruto cut in:

"Ne, Sasuke-teme, let's go spar!"

"Dobe," he was pissed Naruto had stopped his mental congratulations to himself, "You just ate. Everyone knows you're not supposed to exercise after eating."

Naruto merely pouted, "Fine! You think of something to do!" Sasuke's eye twitched. He didn't want to spend anymore 'bonding' time with his loudmouth teammate. He wanted to go home and eat tomatoes to celebrate his god damn victory!

"Oh Oh! Teme, I have an idea dattebayo!" Really, sometimes Naruto couldn't wait, "Let's go visit Sakura-chan at the hospital!"

"..." Sasuke didn't want to say this, but the dobe might be onto something. The other healer was sure to be there.

"Come on teme!! Sakura-chan will be so pleased to see us! Dattebayo!!" and with that, the orange-clad ninja dragged him off to the hospital.

Note: whatever will happen... Reviews are nice. They make my day.


	8. reconnaissance VII: Matsuo Natsuko

NOTE: Woot Woot! 8 chapters already!! I don't know about you, but I have an extremely short attention span, so to get this far it pretty good! I have one chapter left, but if I get a ton of reviews (hint hint) to continue, I could probably write a sequel. It'll most likely be a one shot, cause I've discovered just how fun those can be, so yeah...anymewho, I hope this will last all of you still in school through finals and whatnot (. ishy, i have some too)

Listening to: Gravity of Love

Disclaimer: oh dear, It seems I've lost my claim on Naruto again! Sorry to all of those I promised to loan it too!

Chapter 8: reconnaissance VII: Matsuo Natsuko

It wasn't really busy, Sasuke noted as they wandered the hallways. Sakura hadn't been in her office, and when Naruto asked about her whereabouts at the receptions desk the two were told she was on rounds. Instead of doing the smart thing and waiting at her office, Naruto had recklessly pulled him off with claims of a 'Sakura-chan sensor'.

That particular sensor didn't want to work apparently, so now they were lost. Sasuke was just about to add another level to his glare when he bumped into someone.

After he regained his balance, Sasuke turned to scowl at his assailant, only to find her looking at him. It was an unnerving look, one he didn't get often. It only made his scowl larger. They would have stayed like that for quite a while, if not for the dobe,

"Temeee!" Naruto whined, "Let's go find Sakura-chan! We don't have time for glaring matches, dattebayo!"

Sasuke shifted his glare to Naruto for a moment, and the girl took that time to respond,

"Oh, a bastard? Which one was it?" Sasuke picked up on the jab coming, but the oblivious blond didn't,

"Which one what?"

A hint of a smirk graced the woman's features,"My, aren't we clever today." Naruto again didn't understand (the sarcasm was well hidden) but praise of any sort was taken without complaint.

"Why thank you! I am rather clever, but Sasuke-teme here isn't. Dattebayo!"

Sasuke glared at the speaker, but the black-haired girl laughed, "You're just gonna have to fix that aren't you. Why don't you go hit your head a couple of times? Then you'll have an equal amount of brain cells. This is of course assuming that you have more brain cells. Who knows? Sasuke-teme could merely use his better. Either way, hitting yourself on the head would definitely be an improvement."

Naruto gaped at the girl. To be fair, so did Sasuke, but he was better at hiding. No one insulted him. _No one._ He spoke up,

"I do believe you owe me an apology."

"Several in fact," the girl drawled, "But I really am in a hurry. Instead, why don't you get to work with reducing your brain cell count."

The girl certainly was witty, he gave her that much. He had never liked witty people.

"Oi!" Naruto exclaimed suddenly, "You know who you remind me of? Sai! Dattebayo!" he looked at Sasuke excitedly, as if it were something to be excited about, "Teme! Don't you think she reminds you of Sai? They both have that...that...thing! Dattebayo!"

He gave him points for perceptiveness. Naruto had an uncanny ability to remain hopelessly oblivious to everyone and everything around him (the Hyuuga girl for example). "Congratulations dobe, you finally managed to pick up on something."

Said loudmouth was about to retort when the female in front of them cut in,

"I'm sorry, but I really must be off. Perhaps we can meet again later. This 'Sai' fellow seems intriguing." Sensing that his partner couldn't add to the conversation as he was sputtering on about how Sai was not in fact intriguing, she turned to Sasuke.

"Hnn." He was still peeved about being insulted.

"Ah, a response. Better than hoped for--"

"Sasuke-kun?!" his pink-haired teammate seemed to have finally found them, "What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Naruto?" Sakura questioned as she ran up to them.

"Oh, god, it's Sakura-san," their third companion rolled her eyes.

"Natsuko-san?" if he didn't know better, Sasuke could've sworn Sakura's voice dropped several degrees, "Why are you over here? Don't you have patients in the other wing?"

Natsuko merely shrugged, "Sure, but you have a better lounge over here."

The pink-haired woman's scowl deepened, becoming frostier along the way, "Natsuko-san, I suggest you get back to your department. It has it's own lounge that is undoubtedly more convenient than ours over here."

"Hmm..." the other women contemplated for a second, and even Sasuke couldn't tell if she was faking or not, "You may be right about that, but I suppose I'm willing to make the sacrifice. After all, those chairs are just so comfy, and not to mention you got a sweet TV." At the mention of the luxuries, Naruto seemed to finally perk up,

"Oo! Sakura-chan, ne, ne Sakura-chan?! Can we go see your lounge?! It sounds interesting dattebayo!" Sakura rolled her eyes,

"I'm sorry Naruto, but the lounges are for doctors only. I don't think--"

"Oh nonsense!" waved Natsuko, "I'm sure these fellows won't do anything too bad. And whose gonna tell?"

With that, she started heading down the hallway. Naruto followed eagerly, Sasuke rolled his eyes, but trailed behind, and Sakura after much debating, brought up the rear. Along the way Sasuke mentally congratulated the dobe for finding his target.

When they reached what was to be assumed as the door to the lounge, his pink-haired teammate sped up so she was able to put a hand on the door before Natsuko could open it.

"Okay, I just want to make sure we're all clear," she glared meaningfully at the other female and Naruto, "This is a _doctor's_ lounge. A place where people can take a break. No loud, obnoxious occurrences. We--"

"Oh, come on!" Natsuko whined, "I'm not stupid, and if you can't keep a reign on your teammates then you must have a pretty dysfunctional team." With that, she pushed her way into the room.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

"NARUTO!!" the pink haired girl screamed. Said blond was covered in what appeared to be some sort of...well, Sasuke didn't know what to call it. He and Natsuko were sitting in perhaps the only dry spot in the whole lounge. His companion appeared to be watching the Television while he looked upon his teammates. It was quite amusing to see Sakura beat the crap out of the dobe, and he never got tired of it.

They were just getting to the part where his female teammate started using her super-strength when a sound came from the dark-haired girl's pocket.

As she pulled out a pager from her pocket, Natsuko muttered something under her breath then turned to him, "Hey, guess what," not waiting for a reply she answered, "I've got an emergency. Wanna come?"

Sasuke contemplated it, but decided to go. "It better be better than this," he jerked his thumb over his shoulder as they were leaving to where Naruto and Sakura were bickering.

NOTE: OOoo! Somewhat cliffy!! - Reviewing is a nice thing and if you don't i could always not give you the next chapter... ;)


	9. Mission aborted

NOTE: look, i felt nice...since, ya know, it's the last chapter and all...well, theoretically it is. This really goes to show how much of an attention span I have...well, i think i did rather well, and I hope you did too. If you feel kind enough, reviews are always welcome!!

listening to: A love before time (english, ending credits for crouching tiger hidden dragon)

Disclaimer: you know, i only just got that disclaimer was like claimer, except disclaiming...how sad is that...therefore, i disclaim naruto, but i'd like to think that the OC's and Plot are mine...if not, please inform me

Chapter 9: Operation: get Sasuke-kun the teme away from the female race

"Oi, where did Sasuke-teme go?" A confused and slightly beat up Naruto wondered out loud.

"Yeah...it isn't like him to wander off like that," Sakura looked at the door in thought, "Hey, Naruto, have you noticed that Sasuke-kun has been gone a lot recently?"

The loudmouth thought for a while, but eventually nodded, "And he seems a lot more interested in other people now huh..." Sakura glared at him, but agreed nonetheless.

"More specifically girls..." They both stood there in the wrecked lounge for a while before an evil look passed over the blond's face.

"Ne, Sakura-chan...you wanna know what'd be really funny? Dattebayo!" The pink-haired girl looked at her companion suspiciously before nodding.

And that was how operation: 'get Sasuke-kun the teme away from the female race' was assigned.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

He didn't know how he had ended up in a broom closet with Natsuko, only that they were now kissing...a lot.

Now, it wasn't as if he had never kissed a girl, but he it hadn't been a broom closet and it hadn't lasted this long. Not that he was complaining. Natsuko was a damn good kisser.

The only thing he didn't like was that there was a mop that had tipped over unto his back. It was rather annoying, and as both of his hands were otherwise engaged, he was unable to remove said nuisance from it's current position.

Another botheration was that someone had unthinkingly opened the closet door and was now staring at the two of them.

"Ahem."

When Natsuko heard that, she lazily pulled away, pushing him back when he tried to follow her. "What?"

It was then that he decided to glare at the intruder. What he found was a curvaceous female with long, blond hair tied in two pig-tails. She was wearing a typical schoolgirl uniform, only the skirt was ten times too short and the shirt was twenty times too tight.

The girl put her finger to her mouth and looked at him through her lashes with her big, blue eyes, "Ne, Sasu-kuuun!! How could you do this to me?" When he stared at her blankly, the girl blushed, "I-I thought we had something special..." With that, a single tear ran down her cheek.

The statement also made Natsuko look at him, "You mean you were already involved with someone else?" The blond-haired intruder glared at the black-haired girl still locked in an embrace with him.

"Yes, in fact we were going to celebrate today!" Instead of effectively throwing Natsuko into a rage, it did the opposite and she laughed.

"Why didn't you tell me uke-chan?" Sasuke glared at the nickname, "We could have gone farther."

"I don't know what this girl is talking about." Was his only answer.

"Oh, Sasu-kun, you don't have to hide it anymore!" the girl jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his head and knocking his previous embracer away, "It's too late for them to do anything!"

Natsuko smiled, "Well Uke-chan," she smiled at him, "It's been fun. This girl's starting to piss me off, so I'm gonna go fix some patients. Ja ne." And that was the last he saw of her as Natsuko ran off down the hallway.

When he turned back to the other girl, she was grinning mischievously, now, let's pick up where you two left off. With that, the girl shut the door.

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The scream could be heard throughout the building. Seconds later, a disarrayed Sasuke came spitting out of one very cramped closet that was emptying itself of smoke.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Teme, you should have seen the look on your face!" A Naruto followed his teammate out, "It was the funniest thing! Here, I can show it to you if you want."

Sasuke merely stared. That blond, attractive girl had been Naruto. He had kissed that blond, attractive girl. Therefore, he had kissed Naruto. The second thought he recognized easily enough, it was the first and third that were sending him into cardiac arrest.

"Oh, boy! Just wait until I show these to Sakura-chan!" He turned his neck slowly to see Naruto holding several photos.

He hadn't felt a need for murder this strong since his brother had killed his family. Hell, this was probably stronger. He approached Naruto, Sharingan automatically turning on.

Oblivious as usual, the blond didn't notice the aura of slaughter exuding from the Uchiha until he was standing directly in front of him.

Looking up carefully, Naruto gulped, "This is the part where I start running huh..."

O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O--O-O-O

He hadn't killed Naruto. That was the only thought running through his head at that point. He had gotten the pictures back, but he hadn't destroyed the photographer.

Sasuke was sitting on his bed that evening. He would have been at Ichiraku, but the blond who would have dragged him to the accursed place was still at the hospital, so there was no reason to.

Instead, he contemplated his mission. That particular incident had made him realize some flaws with his plan, mainly he couldn't keep it hidden forever. It's not like he would have kept a marriage hidden, but until then he'd like to keep personal things personal. That wouldn't happen if Sakura and Naruto around.

Another thing he contemplated was just how unprepared he had been. Before he had accepted that a female would come with a certain amount of necessities, but after Ume and Yoko's lecture, he realized just how high maintenance a woman was.

Now that he thought about it, he spotted some major holes in his plan, the above being two of them. Now, Uchiha's never quit, but there had to be a first for everything. Finding and trying to understand a female at this point in life was not worth the expense.

It was, as Shikamaru put it, far too troublesome for a male like him.

NOTE: all done


End file.
